The Grand Vista in Grand Junction... Not grand yet.

Check in; it takes the agent over 200 mouse clicks and about fifteen minutes to get me into a pre-paid room, like they have never checked anyone in before.
And the dead animal decor is charming...if you're the Elmer Fudd type.
Then they have banned smoking, but replaced it with this toxic pineapple air "freshener" that has the same effect in freshening the air that an oil refinery does... and the room STINKS.
The bed was lumpy... like putting a sheet over rocks, the bathroom was DIRTY, shit smears in the toilet bowl, and slime around the jets in the jetted tub that one wouldn't dare take a bath in.
The hot tub is lukewarm at best, and has no jets.
If you have a choice between sleeping in your car and the Grand Vista go with your car... at least you won't pay $60-$110 bucks to be miserable.

River Palms Laughlin, how you feel about it will depend on your rate.

I spent five nights at the River Palms the week after Laughlin River Run 2013, and they were wonderful!

The River Palms

My room rate was $15.67 a night... total bill for the five nights Sunday-Thursday; $87.47 tax included, and for that rate the place was Shangri La.
It had a wonderful pool that gets sun most of the day, unlike the other resorts in town no one has built a 20 story tower to the South or West of it.  The hot tub was hot, had a shade tent over it, and working jets, there is a pool bar that is open on Fridays and weekends.
The casino is a bit bare bones as the property owner has chosen to focus on their other Laughlin venue and has allowed this hotel to become the dingiest in town... one whole floor of gaming operations has been closed leaving only a small casino on the ground floor, it has mostly slots, video poker, and video table games that have creepy looking virtual dealers standing there waiting.

Hot Tub and Pool

The buffet isn't bad, it is cheap and the service is good... middle of the road for Laughlin; open for dinner only on off days.
There is also a Denny's in the hotel, there is no room service.
My 24th floor room was clean and you could tell the staff was doing the best they could with their obviously slashed maintenance budget. The mattress was comfortable, but the furnishings were rather worse for the wear.
The hotel definitely doesn't put it's best foot forward at the check in desk... the carpets in the area are quite worn and have been patched with duct tape.

A resident of River Palms

During my stay the hotel sold to M1 Gaming LLC; owners of Reno's Boomtown Casino, the purchase price was seven million dollars, and the company is planning to "spend significant amounts of money upgrading the property"... this is good news as River Palms is ripe for a makeover.

The bones of this property are good, and it is a good value.... do not pay more than $20 a night for a room and you will feel like you got a good deal.

Mike in room 2403

View from River Palms room 2403

The Palms at River Palms

River Palms Front Desk

South Wing of River Palms

Casino Entrance 

Four Queens Hotel and Casino..Vintage Vegas... a Classic!

I did not chose the Four Queens, Hotwire did that for me; and boy am I glad they did!  I read the reviews on Tripadvisor and had some doubts, but the thing about Hotwire is... you don't get to change your mind.  

We arrived a bit early and had no problem checking in, the whole process took less than five minutes.  Our room was on the 19th floor of the South Tower, we had a West view of downtown and Mount Charleston. 

The room was clean, had a flat screen TV and comfortable beds.  Aside from the flat screens the hotel seemed stuck in the seventies, a welcome relief from the size and hype of the strip hotels, and being a fan of the movie Casino... well this was like walking on to the set.   

The hotel staff is friendly enough (especially if you tip as you go) but don't expect to be fawned over unless you lose an AWFUL lot of money in their casino.  The maids were very attentive during our five day stay and respected the do not disturb sign, but always stopped us in the halls to ask if we wanted new towels or needed toilet paper, I would have to say that the Four Queens Housekeeping Staff is one of the best in the nation!

We ate at Magnolias Restaurant in the Casino several times during our stay, the view from the booths overlooking the Casino is the place to see without being seen in Sin City.   Outside the casino the party goes on all the time (except when real cold winds blow... but even then there is still a little party going on, but just the die hard's attend)

We are not much for crowds and enjoyed going drinking at the Gold Spike just a few blocks away, we ate at Main Street Station's Buffet... the best downtown, better and cheaper than the Golden Nugget... also we would recommend Hash House a Go Go in the Plaza, they have great food and stupidly big portions... don't be afraid to order one to split between two people, even if you aren't old. 

The only casino we played was the Four Queens, and the "Sex in the City" slots were loose enough to keep us playing all week!  

We would definitely stay at the Queens again, yes it is old and out of date, yes is does smell like decades of smoke.... that is PRECISELY the point of a classic Las Vegas experience... and the Four Queens delivers!

Springhill Suites Flagstaff... Not so sweet.

The Springhill Suites Flagstaff was the most expensive hotel of our end of the world roadtrip... the Priceline rate was $60... but it was a total rip off.
For a start the hotel was filled to the brim with misbehaved children... jumping on beds, running up and down halls screaming, I was over it the minute we checked in.
Then there was the non working toilet. It made a big deal about making all kinds of noise... and then every thing just swirled for a second and stayed in the bowl... this toilet clogged for just plain water... the hotel front desk was nice enough to provide us with a plunger, then left us to fix their toilet over, and over, and over.

 Of course the whole cookie cutter building and room were designed around one piece of furniture  the television stand... it did not fit in the assigned space.   Epic fail, I wonder if it was nationwide.

Marriott usually means "bad hotel"... I have not trusted them since they fucked up my college's food service... and they didn't disappoint this time.

If you are a plumber with misbehaved children this is the right hotel for you ... if not SKIP IT!

Harrah's Laughlin... the Perfect escape!

Mike The Bunny @ Harrah's Laughlin

I bid TWELVE dollars on Priceline.com and my winning bid got me Harrah's Laughlin on December 16th 2012.  The hotel could have totally messed things up and gotten away with it for this stupidly low rate... they did not.

For a start the hotel was almost empty, but the staff was not napping, they gave us first class service all the way through.  The slots were lose and our casino time was short..... very very very short.... we hit big on first bet, and LEFT.
The buffet was the best, we had the place to ourselves and the food was as fresh and good as anything in Las Vegas.